Highs and Lows – 24/76

Highs this week:

• I “fixed” our IKEA book toyshelf. Once upon a time I sewed some mesh and elastic together to hold the toys back, but over the years the elastic has been shot and the mesh was punctured. It was nice to get some sewing done again. It’s been a long time since the sewing machine has been out!
• Nathan went to the doctor on Tuesday. We had coached him on being brave for the shots (he got 2). He cried a tiny bit and was okay fairly quickly and said “I was brave!” Then he said something like Jesus didn’t even need to be there – I guess Joel had said that Jesus would be there with him. So then we had to call Daddy on the phone and tell him how brave he was. Usually I have to coach him for phone calls as well, but he shouted out “I was so brave Daddy!” Aww.
• A few hours after his doctor appointment (while Caleb was napping), Nathan fell asleep on my shoulder. That never happens anymore. I need to watch boring (to Nathan) YouTube videos more often!

Lows this week:

• I picked up yesterday’s mail today. I saw one envelope and knew immediately what it was for – jury duty. UGH. At least it’s for a Friday so we won’t have to juggle kids.
• Caleb has been sick, I think. He’s been coughing and sneezing but the rest of us aren’t. My allergies have been a lot better this week so I doubt it could be allergies.
• I took the boys to a LOT of stores this week (I went to 7 different stores looking for 1 thing), and Nathan was pretty annoying at a lot of them. Trying to grab things, whining, whiiiiiiiiiiining, things like that. Fun times.

Moment of the week:

• We’ve started doing family devotions at dinner that involves lighting a candle. Nathan gets to light the candle, and Caleb gets to blow it out. And the boy CANNOT WAIT. So far, he’s about 50/50 for being able to wait and throwing a fit. But he gets soooooooooooo excited when it’s time to blow out the candle. His eyes get wide and he grins and shakes like he’s going to explode! It’s the cutest thing (when he hasn’t thrown a fit).

Quote of the week:

• Nathan, while watching Star Wars: “That’s a bad guy. I’m not a bad guy – I’m Nafan”

Highs and Lows – 23/75

Highs this week:

• I took the boys to the zoo on Tuesday and it was a really nice time. We got there right as the zoo opened we were by ourselves in most of the exhibits until about 10:30, when school groups and all sorts of people were flooding in. So I let the boys run around the grass amphitheater and then we left. It was so peaceful.
• Joel’s parents took the boys on Friday night, so we were able to go out on our first date in months. We went out to dinner and saw a movie and slept in Saturday morning. It was very nice.
• Joel took Nathan camping and they had a lot of fun. It was nice being home with just Caleb for a night and morning.

Lows this week:

• Church. Ugh. It’s so hard to keep going back and get the same results and frustration over and over.
• Nathan is still being a little turd. Sigh.
• Allergies suck. Despite being on medication, I have sneezed 36 times today. I have been sneezing so much over the past couple of days I decided to count.

Moment of the week:

• For the first time in who knows how long, I was awakened Saturday morning not by children, but by the sudden, enveloping flop of a purring cat sitting on my head. Buddy saw his chance and took it, I guess.

Quote of the week:

• Me, to Caleb: “Do you want to go outside?”
• Caleb, quick and curt: “No.”
• “Do you want to stay inside?”
• “No”
• “Do you want to play with your toys?”
• “No”
• “Do you want to go upstairs?”
• “No”
• And so on.

Camping picture:

“All by myself!”

Highs and Lows – 22/74

Highs this week:

• There was one gleaming moment of awesome in this craptastic week. One evening Joel and I took the boys out for a walk, even though it was sprinkling a little bit. Those boys LOVE being outside and love their walks. Caleb even knows how to say “Walk!” He’ll say “Walk!” “Walk!” “WALK!” over and over. At the end of the walk I even let the boys stomp in the puddles in front of our house. I got them cleaned off inside and into their PJ’s and started reading what happened to be the next story in our Story Bible – Noah and the Ark. I was halfway through and Joel said we all needed to go look out the front window. There was a huge rainbow right there. It was really neat to be able to show that to Nathan and then get to the end of the story about God’s promise with the rainbow. That kind of stuff doesn’t happen very often.
• Caleb has started putting 2 words together. He is saying all sorts of other words too. He’ll say “More _________!” and “P! P!” (please) and things like that. He told Joel “Eat!” today. It’s nice having a kid who uses words. I honestly don’t remember what we did with Nathan at this age.

Lows this week:

• Preschool ended for the year.  See below.
• Nathan is being sooooooooo annoying lately! He will want to do something and I will say no, you can’t do that right now, and he’ll respond with “But I WANT TO!” like I am saying I disagree with him or am invalidating him or something. No, you just can’t do that at this exact moment. Or he’ll do something annoying that he shouldn’t be doing, like sticking Caleb’s water bottle nozzle in the holes of the shopping cart he was riding in (gross!). So I take both boys’ water bottles away and he loudly whines “I want my water! I’m thirsty! THIRSTY!” etc. etc. So I have to turn around and book it to the front of the store cart return and forcibly remove him from the cart since he doesn’t want to leave, where he then yells “OW! YOU HURT ME! YOU HUUUUUUURT ME” for everyone to hear. Otherwise he is stomping on his books, breaking the spines, or knocking the patio table over onto Caleb, bonking his head and pinning his arm down, or refusing to use the bathroom and becoming really, overwhelmingly fidgety, or standing on things he shouldn’t be standing on, giving Caleb the idea he should do that too. And SO ON. UGH!
• For a while now a few of us at our church have been planning a Bunco night as a fundraiser for the upcoming fall Women’s Retreat. It was Friday night and was kind of disappointing, attendance-wise. There were 10 total (4 of us were planners). So that was a bummer. We were hoping for many more so we *may* break even with the costs. And then I thought it would be neat to have a chocolate fountain, so at the end of the night I scraped all the unused chocolate into a bowl to freeze and use again. On the way home I encountered a wrong way driver and had to leave some of my tires on the road to avoid an accident. When I got home I found the bowl had toppled over from my screeching halt, spilling the liquid chocolate EVERYWHERE. That was not how I wanted my less-than-ideal evening to end. So Joel spent quite a bit of time cleaning the car today. I find it incredibly frustrating to put so much effort into something so few attended and then have to deal with that. It’s hard when you try really hard and very few show up. Unfortunately, I think that’s the culture of our church. People are just too busy.
• A little while ago Joel had an in-person interview at another church. It wasn’t of his doing – they contacted him and he went through their interview process. A little background – at our church (both here and nationally) we believe the Holy Spirit guides and directs the calling (aka “hiring”) process for church workers – so even if you aren’t looking to leave your current position, you will seek the Spirit’s guidance if another church is interested in potentially calling you. So that’s what Joel did. The church ended up choosing a different person, and that bummed me out a little bit. It was intriguing to possibly be at a church with so much going on. This particular congregation had a lot of activity and things to do, it seemed. It was nice to think I could go to an event that I wouldn’t be planning (as opposed to here). Our church doesn’t have a lot going on, which is sad for me. Every fellowship event that’s been offered for women at our church in the past couple years (except for one) I have been involved in making happen. It was also intriguing thinking about not being surrounded by assholes (“Spaceballs” anyone?) who let their dogs bark incessantly and park on our sidewalk. Also intriguing was thinking about a potential raise – if a new congregation paid Joel what he is supposed to be paid according to the District’s salary guidelines, we’d be talking about a nearly $10,000 raise. Plus thinking about a big move would be all new and exciting and my life is pretty blah right now. So yeah, a little bummed. I can’t say we’d actually move or anything, though.

Moment of the week:

• Other than my first high of the week, I don’t know. This video really made me laugh though. So I will share again:

 

Quote of the week (tie):

• Nathan (while riding in the car): “We shouldn’t run over those people. That would be a bad choice.”
• Nathan: “That was my butt.”

Highs and Lows – 21/73

Highs this week:

• We finally got Frontier to reverse ALL the extra charges from when we had it installed! In December! We’re talking 5 months of dealing with their crap! Their game is obviously to run you down so you give up and pay. I could go on and on and on about how many times Joel had to call and was told it was taken care of, but I will spare you the torture.
• We’ve been debating what to do with our little Mom’s Bible Study at church – perhaps switch to an evening format to reach a wider audience – so we made an online survey for the ladies at church to fill out. We got 21 responses (19 of which were positive)! That’s a LOT for our tiny church. And it shows there’s definitely interest, so that’s a great thing.

Lows this week:

• Nathan “missed” and peed ALL OVER his bathroom. 3 different walls, floor, toilet, sink cabinet, rug, etc. He’s been experimenting by peeing when standing up too and that’s not fun either. Messssssssssssssssssssssssssy.
• Caleb has a cold. He’s been a little bit happy and a lot bit cranktastic. I may or may not be getting a cold. I can’t tell if it’s allergies or what.
• I am not pleased with the changes to Express Scripts since they merged with Medco (these are pharmacies). I received a new blood glucose meter from my doctor a while ago that uses different strips than I have a prescription for. So I used up all my old strips – those things aren’t cheap! Earlier this week I logged on to the Express Scripts website and discovered that there was a merger and that all of my prescriptions were gone. Every single one. First I emailed their customer service and got my doctor to send new prescriptions for the test strips and insulin I’m running out of. I later called Express Scripts and the gal on the phone said I had to create an entirely new account, which I did, and then all my prescriptions came back. NOWHERE on the website did it say to do that! HELLO! And the next day I got an email back saying “Only prescriptions with active refills could be transferred. At this time you will need to submit new prescriptions to be filled. I apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused you.” What a load of BS! This is what I have to look forward to now? Anyway, my new prescriptions were sent in on May 21st. Estimated ship date from Express Scripts – JUNE 3rd. That’s 2 weeks just to process the order! I am going to run out of strips by then. It’s not an “if” – it’s WHEN. Luckily I found some old (I mean 3 years expired old) test strips that will hopefully still work WHEN I run out. What on earth takes 2 weeks for them to do? Seriously! Good thing I ordered insulin as well because I will be very, very close to running out. This NEVER happened before Express Scripts changed. And I wasn’t too thrilled with their service then anyway.
• The Russians are apparently gone for the weekend. You know what that means? Barky, barky dog. Good. Grief.

Moment of the week:

• One of the words Caleb says most often now is “Poo poo” (and it’s usually a strained tone since he’s going as he says it). I went in his room the other day to get him from his nap, and the first thing he said to me, excitedly, was “Poo poo!” (like, “I’m done!”). So I put him on the changing table where he proceeded to waaaaaail and writhe around since he hates getting his diaper changed. Well, dude, don’t tell me then!

Quote of the week:

• Nathan, attempting to wipe up his mess so I wouldn’t notice: “I missed”
• Me: “You missed here?”
• “Yeah”
• “And way over there?”
• “Yeah”
• “And that wall too?”
• “Yeah”
• “And the rug?”
• “Yeah”
• “How did that happen?”
• (silence)

Random picture:

He loves to sit there and “read’ his books. I love it when he doesn’t knock them all on the floor.

My Episode of “Airwolf”

Apparently there was a helicopter porn show in the 80′s called “Airwolf.” I say “apparently” because I didn’t even know it existed until Joel started watching it on Netflix. So far I’ve endured the entire series of “MacGuyver” and many, many episodes of “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” Those shows are fine.

But Airwolf? – UGH. I just don’t like that show. I do not like Jan-Michael Vincent (he was sexy????). I do not like the story lines (they don’t make sense!). We watched a real doozy of an episode last night – Season 3, episode 11 – “Where Have All the Children Gone?”  It was like “Children of the Corn” (minus a demon) meets “War Games.” But without making ANY SENSE. AT ALL. So many plot holes. Soooooo bad.

So Joel said I should come up with my own totally plausible Airwolf episode.

Here it is.

———

FADE IN.

EXT. VIETNAM P.O.W. CAMP, 1970

U.S. Army Guy 1: Let’s go rescue our boys! Including Saint John Hawke!

They rush the camp! Things blow up! Everywhere!

U.S. Army Guy 2: I found 2 men – one a DOA, but both men’s faces are damaged beyond recognition. Two dog tags, one for Saint John Hawke and some other dude.

The prisoners are evacuated!

 

INT. ARMY HOSPITAL, 1970

Saint John Hawke: Where am I? 

Army Doctor: You have been rescued. You are in a hospital. Except, I have some bad news for you.

Saint John: What? 

Army Doctor: Well, you were unrecognizable, and the dog tags between you and the other prisoner were swapped. We did facial reconstructive surgery on you, but gave you the face of the other guy!

Saint John: Uh hoh.

Army Doctor: Yeah. So you have 2 choices. You can return to life as yourself, but looking as a different person. Or you can assume the life of your cellmate. No one will know the difference!

Saint John: Hmm. My cellmate was pretty handy. I don’t think anyone will miss me. My brother has to think I’m dead and gone and never looked for me. Let’s go for option #2!

 

EXT. SANTINI’S HANGAR, 1984

Archangel: String, we’ve got some new intel on the current location of your brother!

Stringfellow: Sweet. Let’s go.

Archangel: But first, you must blow up miscellaneous dumb bad guys with your really, really, super unrealistic helicopter, which I always want to but can never actually steal back from you! But still I help you! A lot!

Stringfellow: Yep.

Helicopter porn ensues. Bad guys blow up! Good guys win!

 

EXT. HOUSEBOAT, LOS ANGELES

Stringfellow: My brother lives here?

Archangel: Yep! I’ve got a current photo for you, too.

Stringfellow: You’re just bringing this up now?

Archangel: (shows him the photo)

Stringfellow: Who’s this guy?

Archangel: It’s a long story.

Camera pans to picture:

 

 

 

THE END

Highs and Lows – 20/72

Highs this week:

• Someone finally showed up and bought the stroller! I sold it for only $10 less than I bought it for. Not too bad!
• Caleb counted to 10! Apparently Joel and Nathan count to 10 in the bathtub and he picked it up from there. Crazy!

Other notables:

• I am thinking about having a garage sale. I am tired of all the toys with zillions of pieces that are everywhere, all the time, but don’t get played with other than getting dumped on the floor. All Nathan and Caleb tend to play with are cars, trucks, blocks, and trains. I’m not sure I want to deal with all the hagglers, though.
• Caleb has learned to say “No!” I may prefer that over the screaming.

Lows this week:

• Yesterday morning was not fun. That’s all I will say about that.
• I am not particularly enjoying having a 4-year-old. Not as bad as a 3-year-old yet. We shall see.

Moment of the week:

• Joel and I witnessed a Mexican standoff, cat style this morning. Buddy and 2 other neighborhood cats were sitting a few feet apart in a circle, obviously annoyed/angered at each other’s presence but not giving up their ground. Cats are weird.

Quote of the week:

• “That’s the Millenium Falcon” – Nathan correctly enunciated, the boy who can’t even say “Caleb” or even his own name!

Highs and Lows – 19/71

Highs this week:

• The weather was very nice. Sunny and warm in the 80′s every day! Today, not so much, though.
• Caleb’s been saying a lot of words. He even wanders around looking for people saying, “_____, wa-ah-oo?” (Mama or Dada, where are you?). He brings books to you and excitedly says “Book!” He also announces “poo poo” at the appropriate times.
• As opposed to what I wrote below, I easily sold an Exersaucer on Craigslist for what I bought it for.
• I forgot to add this one a few weeks ago – but it still makes me laugh. A preschool Mom came up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked if she was calling me the correct name. Why? Because at the same event she had heard multiple people call me wrong name – the Pastor’s wife’s name (which is really, really similar to my name, but still definitely DIFFERENT). And then she didn’t get why that would happen. I don’t even really notice anymore. People have gotten my name wrong my whole life, so if they are even remotely close, I don’t say anything.

Other notables:

• Caleb is a climber. He can get onto the couches now. He can climb the stairs into the swing set play structure (dangerous!). I keep finding him on top of the train table. He has tried to climb the stairs to Nathan’s loft bed but can’t quite make it. Sigh.

Lows this week:

• Joel gave blood on Tuesday and wasn’t right for a long while. Dizzy spells and nearly fainting for days.
• We had a balloon mishap. A balloon tied to a whole spool of fishing line got loose and was sucked up into the fan. So there is who knows how much fishing line along with a couple feet of balloon ribbon stuck inside our fan, which is 15 feet (?) high. Awesome.
• I’m trying to sell a double stroller on Craigslist. I can’t believe how inconsiderate people are! We set a meeting time, but do they show up? NO. And then they offer pitiful excuses. You know what? If you don’t want it anymore, just tell me that, instead of rudely making me waste my time by waiting around when I could be doing other things. It feels like some people deliberately contact you with no intention of ever showing up. And then there are the people who want me to drive 30 minutes across town to meet. Um, NO!
• Gas has jumped 40 cents here this WEEK. No reason WHY, other than greed.

Quote of the week:

• Nathan, trying to get out of eating dinner: “But my mouth is too big to eat that!”

Moment of the week:

• This one lasted for so long, I had the chance to tape it. Though when Nathan saw the camera, he started faking, but trust me, it was REAL in the preceding minutes.